Thursday, August 23, 2012

Life Lessons: Why Positivity Always Trumps Jealousy

Recently, I ran into an acquaintance I haven’t seen in years at a party. We both work as photographers. While I was genuinely happy to have a chat, say hello and exchange well wishes. It became apparent this person had a separate agenda to my own, alerting to the fact he was making a comeback to shooting – which I thought was great! Nothing beats that feeling of beautiful flowing creative energy...  everyone should experience :)

After a few shared nice comments, this person started to reveal his true opinion about my work. That there was times he’d be in competition with me, see something I’d create and want to try it out then ‘obviously do it better’.  I didn’t really understand these statements because I never knew we were in competition or thought of our work as being similar. I’m flattered he thought me a worthy opponent ;) My friend went on to talk about himself (a lot) and how although not technical, believes himself to be a true visionary artist ('everyone says so!'). It was all getting very ‘there’s something about this guy’ at this point and awkward for the girl standing next to me, taking in the entire conversation. It’s possible I surprised myself with my response. 

Instead of biting, replying defensively, I said ‘thank you’. That kind of competitive aggression is foreign to me. There’s no place for negativity in my life and never allow self to follow down that path in my personal or business endeavours.  

My philosophy in this business (well, life!) is to always be the best you, you can possibly be. The only person you are ever in competition with is yourself. Everyone else around you, they are there to encourage and inspire even when they are speaking words of negativity. Never see someone as a threat if they do well or even surpass you, momentarily. Choose to see it as a milestone you’d like to someday create for yourself. Instead of compiling mental shopping lists of all the things this person does wrong in comparison to you. Why not save some time (+head space) and congratulate! I can guarantee offering kindness and genuinely being happy for your friends/peers/competition will leave you with more sustained happiness than you would have achieved from spending money, or dare I say it... shopping. When we give gifts, be it in material form or random acts of kindness, we feel better about ourselves and encourage others to smile with us.

This particular moment with an old acquaintance sparked greater dialogue in my head. I wanted to share this wisdom with you, from my experiences and what I have learnt along the way. It is important to be armed with the necessary social tools in any situation to handle yourself appropriately. So long as you do it with pride, stellar charisma and always back your worth....can’t go wrong! :)

The best way to avoid listening to others’ projected negativity is to first: Know Yourself.
Understand your strengths. Identify what makes you different. Be confident, and never apologize for being just who you are. With that in mind, you’ll never be open to allowing someone else to make you feel less than you are. Everyone has a gift, and every person is incredibly talented. Celebrate!

There, I said it. Now I’ll get off my soapbox and back to fashion.  (umm...yes please!!!)

Much love peeps of the world. Have a beautiful day!

Allura xoxo